| You have got to love soap operas. From the | | | | Maximillian in disguise who knew that Zigmond was |
| intricate plots and finely woven webs of deceit, to | | | | fond of un-pitted olives stuffed into green |
| the depths of schemes, they were, are and | | | | grapefruit filled graciously with Granny and |
| always will be classics. They are timeless. I wrote | | | | Gretchen's goulash, which was gradually getting |
| this article as my take on them back in 1970 | | | | gooey and who also knew of Jennifer's contact |
| when filling white space for our high school paper. | | | | Louella in the deep Congo, seized at the time by |
| Watch a few soap operas for the next few days | | | | the dread Gardenia, the 7th cousin of Guenivere, |
| and see for yourself how closely they resemble | | | | in hopes of receiving the eight-ounce bottle of |
| soap operas 36 years ago... | | | | Elmer's Glue stored in the vast files in the cortex |
| And now for that thought provoking question that | | | | of Courtney's colossal computer complex carefully |
| plagues men's souls unceasingly through the bright | | | | compiled to correct the current curling, commonly |
| shining of the day and through the untold dark | | | | crusading as the contagious, communicable, |
| depths of the night: | | | | crystalline, cucumber crud, carried on cue sticks |
| Why did Peter, who in reality is actually | | | | by crying cuckoo clock birds continuously to |
| Superman, fake that he stubbed his toe on the | | | | conform with the cunning Cornelius' cumbersome |
| 17th stone on the sidewalk starting at 4th and | | | | plot to corrupt the currency and continue the |
| Grand instead of the 16th stone, which was | | | | crisis of the Cormandel Coast Cult, complicated by |
| bigger and more logically the victim of that | | | | the coroner Cort's corny connotation to conceal |
| invulnerable toe and why did Marlys take Sam's | | | | his consecutive coronary contractions constantly |
| advice to buy the yellow tulip instead of the red | | | | crippling his conscious efforts to contradict |
| and green carnation, while all the time Rodregus | | | | congenial counterparts' careful counterfeit |
| knew that the curvaceous young Pandora was at | | | | correspondence with Corwyn, the cosmic |
| the moment buying the last purple, | | | | cosmetician? |
| double-breasted, duck-billed, warbling giraffe in the | | | | Was it because Bill had green eyes or was it |
| world for her dear departed Phillip disguised as a | | | | because Melissa meddled menacingly and |
| lowly second mate on the Queen Mary, which | | | | meticulously in Maude's plans to read the calendar |
| was under attack by the tyrant Cedric because | | | | to see what year she had been sent to by her |
| of the terrible beating he had suffered at the | | | | superiors in the future? |
| hands of Radcliff whose ex-wife Natalie was | | | | Tune in tomorrow for the exciting climax created |
| actually Percival's long lost great-great-uncle | | | | by another deep question. |